Sh Tty Mom Download Ebook PDF Epub Online

Author : Karen Moline
Alicia Ybarbo
Publisher : Abrams Image
Release : 2012-09-01
Page : 176
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN 13 : 9781419704598
Description :


An irreverent guide to parenting presents advice on handling common parenting concerns in the easiest and most efficient way possible.


Author : Laurie Kilmartin
Karen Moline
Publisher : Abrams
Release : 2012-09-01
Page : 176
Category : Humor
ISBN 13 : 161312399X
Description :


Sh*tty Mom is the ultimate parenting guide, written by four moms who have seen it all. As hilarious as it is universal, each chapter presents a common parenting scenario with advice on how to get through it in the easiest and most efficient way possible. With chapters such as “How to Sleep Until 9 A.M. Every Weekend” and “When Seeing an Infant Triggers a Mental Illness That Makes You Want to Have Another Baby,” as well as a Sh*tty Mom quiz, this is a must-have, laugh-out-loud funny book for the sh*tty parent in all of us. Praise for Sh*tty Mom: “A totally hilarious and uncensored look at some of the impossible situations we mothers find ourselves in.” —TheBump.com “Smartly, brashly, nearly criminally funny. It also—no small thing—carries a powerful message to all parents, but especially moms, that distilled to its essence is this: chill.” —Time.com “As the attachment parenting craze has hit a zenith in American culture, four very funny moms—comedy writers, TV producers, and a novelist—blast open a long-locked safe filled with frustrations faced by all modern mothers, with sympathetic and sharp humor. . . . The authors’ unfiltered candor is a welcome reminder for readers that they're not alone. . . .” —Publishers Weekly starred review “Both funny and practical.” —Brooklyn Based.net "Hilariously entertaining. A must-read survivor's guide for every mother!" --Christy Turlington Burns, founder of Every Mother Counts “Finally, Sh*tty Mom does for motherhood what Chelsea Handler does for female scatology. It’s a long overdue little burst of honesty from the supposed minority of mothers who are, in fact, not that maternal. . . . After a generation of supermoms one-upping each other in dead earnest on playgrounds and schoolyards, the emerging mass appeal of Sh*tty Mom is a welcome relief.” —The New York Observer "Witty, wise, and wicked! With tongue planted firmly in cheek, these savvy moms dispense some much needed comic relief about raising kids in our crazy culture."? --Dr. Harvey Karp, bestselling author of The Happiest Baby on the Block “The most inappropriate parenting book I've ever read. Loved it. The perfect book for any mother who wants to laugh instead of cry at those cringe-worthy moments and the universal indignities we experience on a daily basis.” --Jessica Seinfeld, bestselling cookbook author and founder of Baby Buggy “An antidote to the hostage situation that is modern parenting…subversive, delicious, and spit-out-your-latte funny.” --Pamela Druckerman, bestselling author of Bringing Up Bebe


Author : Alicia Ybarbo
Mary Ann Zoellner
Publisher : Abrams
Release : 2016-04-05
Page : 176
Category : Humor
ISBN 13 : 1613127197
Description :


The authors of the New York Times–bestselling Sh*tty Mom are back with a hilarious guide presenting common parenting scenarios with advice for getting through the year the sh*tty mom way. Told in the same tongue-in-cheek voice as the original, this sequel is full of funny parenting tips and relatable stories for contemporary moms. Sh*tty Mom for All Seasons explores the occasions throughout the year that test every mother’s patience and inspire self-deprecating humor and that second glass of wine. With chapters organized by season, the book will teach you how to navigate the bumpy roads of motherhood, learn to laugh at the occasional parenting fail, and maybe even appreciate your own mother. Or not. Sample chapters for the sh*tty mom year include: Fall: “Yes, We All Have to Be Here: The Annual PTO Funsraiser” Winter: “Mom’s Real New Year’s Resolutions” Spring: “I’m Running Off with the Gardner: April Fools!” Summer: “Summer Reading Lists & Other Great Reasons Why You Don’t Home School” The Emmy Award–winning TODAY show producers and self-proclaimed sh*tty moms, Alicia Ybarbo and Mary Ann Zoellner, together with humorist Erin Clune, bring you the perfect book for mothers who don’t take themselves too seriously.


Author : Laurie Kilmartin
Publisher : Rodale
Release : 2018-02-13
Page : 208
Category : Self-Help
ISBN 13 : 1635650003
Description :


An honest, irreverent, laugh-out-loud guide to coping with death and dying from Emmy-nominated writer and New York Times bestselling co-author of Sh*tty Mom Laurie Kilmartin. Death is not for the faint of heart, and sometimes the best way to cope is through humor. No one knows this better than comedian Laurie Kilmartin. She made headlines by live-tweeting her father’s time in hospice and her grieving process after he passed, and channeled her experience into a comedy special, 45 Jokes About My Dead Dad. Dead People Suck is her hilarious guide to surviving (sometimes) death, dying, and grief without losing your mind. If you are old and about to die, sick and about to die, or with a loved one who is about to pass away or who has passed away, there’s something for you. With chapters like “Are You An Old Man With Daughters? Please Shred Your Porn,” “If Cancer was an STD, It Would Be Cured By Now,” and “Unsubscribing Your Dead Parent from Tea Party Emails,” Laurie Kilmartin guides you through some of life’s most complicated moments with equal parts heart and sarcasm.


Author : Jill Smokler
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Release : 2012-04-03
Page : 168
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN 13 : 1451673779
Description :


An irreverent assessment of the dark side of parenting combines original essays and anonymous confessions as posted on the ScaryMommy.com site to encourage women to embrace their own parenting approaches without competing with other moms who only seem to have everything under control.


Author : Bunmi Laditan
Publisher : Workman Publishing
Release : 2015-04-07
Page : 176
Category : Humor
ISBN 13 : 0761185755
Description :


At last, the book that answers the question on every parent’s mind: Why does my toddler hate me? Okay, it’s not really hate. It’s just that a little psychopath who walks through life 100% convinced that he or she is the center of the universe does not care that you have a heart, a mind, or a soul. You are simply a skin-covered robot tall enough to reach the candy on top of the fridge. And clean up the rage-vomit when you make the fatal mistake of cutting off the crust on your toddler’s toast. (Or not cutting it off—seriously, you can’t win.) Includes: The theory of toddler evolution Mealtime (AKA Hell) Your unraveling life And how not to die inside


Author : Mary Ann Zoellner
Alicia Ybarbo
Publisher : Harper Collins
Release : 2009-04-28
Page : 256
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN 13 : 0061899186
Description :


Two producers of Today share their experiences and wisdom on baby's first year, along with priceless advice and anecdotes from the anchors and experts on America's number-one morning show. Being a new mother can be extremely nerve-racking and exhausting, and many moms find parenting advice, comfort, and humor on the Today show. Now all that advice and more is collected in Today's Moms, a one-stop guide to everything a new mother needs to know about her baby's first year, from the best breastfeeding products to reclaiming fun and intimacy with her partner after the baby. Full of behind-the-scenes stories with moms and experts, Today's Moms provides the most up-to-date news and information with easy, entertaining ways to help mothers keep their sanity. And it's all medically reviewed by NBC medical experts Dr. Nancy Snyderman and Dr. Tanya Benenson. Contributors include Meredith Vieira, Ann Curry, Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Kathie Lee Gifford, and many others. Written in a friendly and accessible tone, with straightforward, honest advice and expert information, Today's Moms will help all moms feel more confident about their first year of motherhood.


Author : Biz Ellis
Theresa Thorn
Publisher : The Countryman Press
Release : 2017-04-18
Page : 208
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN 13 : 1682680061
Description :


Stop feeling like sh*t for being a mom—laugh-out-loud affirmations for every parent Guess what? This “parenting book” is not designed to make new parents feel bad. Authors and co-hosts of the popular comedy podcast One Bad Mother, Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn, know firsthand that raising kids is tough. They also know that, most likely, parents are winning more than they’re failing. This book reminds parents that it’s okay to have a low bar. Celebrate what did happen, not what didn’t, including gems such as: Did you get up this morning? Great! You’re doing an awesome job! Your kid fell asleep? Even if it was just for two hours, that’s amazing. Good job! Has your kid eaten? That’s probably your doing, so yeah, you’re a winner! The perfect gift for the growing family, You Are Doing a Great Job! is the much-needed reminder to screw all expectations and advice. It belongs on the shelf next to Go the Fu*k to Sleep and Let’s Panic About Babies. Or better yet, tear out the pages and hang them up.


Author : Unspirational
Publisher : Abrams
Release : 2017-09-12
Page : 160
Category : Humor
ISBN 13 : 1683350278
Description :


Your Sh*tty Family contains all the hilarity, confusion, and frustration of a visit home without the expensive plane tickets, the tiny twin bed, or any of the misery of actually having to spend time with your family. This book, based on the popular Instagram account of the same name, features actual text-message conversations between various family members. Your Sh*tty Family presents screenshots of these conversations that are relatable to anyone who has ever taught their parents to text. Topics range from hilarious misunderstandings of slang, to children who over-share, to siblings who mercilessly make fun of each other, all organized into outrageous categories such as Momster, Dadvice, Group Chats, and more!


Author : Amber Dusick
Publisher : Harlequin
Release : 2013-04-01
Page : 224
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN 13 : 1460309863
Description :


"The drawings aren't very good, Mama." —Crappy Boy, age 5 Of course you love being a parent. But sometimes, it just sucks. I know. I'm Amber Dusick and I started my blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures because I needed a place to vent about the funny (and frustrating) day-to-day things that happened to me as a parent. Turns out, poop is hilarious! At least when you're not the one wiping it up. This book won't make your frustrating moments any less crappy. But these stories about my Crappy Baby, Crappy Boy and my husband, Crappy Papa, will hopefully make you laugh. Because you're not alone. And sometimes the crappiest moments make the best memories. Parenting is wonderful! And also, well, you know.


Author : Amy Eschliman
Leigh Oshirak
Publisher : Penguin
Release : 2010-04-06
Page : 352
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN 13 : 1101186763
Description :


wickedly funny, girlfriend-to-girlfriend survival guide for working mothers who want real answers, not mommy manifestos or sappy crap on finding "balance" Most books for working mothers are earnest, serious guides with some usefull information, but lack the snark and praticality that today's overworked moms relate to. Marketing veterans Amy Eschliman and Leigh Oshirak know firsthand what a struggle it can be to hold down a stressful job while raising a family-and that sometimes the only way to preserve your sanity is with laughter. A survival guide for the rest of us, Balance is a Crock, Sleep is for the Weak is filled with bitterly funny topics like: • Congratulations. Now, where do I slot "baby" in Outlook? • Maternity Leave: Vacation or Hell? • The Breastaurant is Open for Business: The pump and grind of nursing after you return to work. • You Are Not Your Husband's Mother! and other time-sucking obligations. • And more day-to-day advice for surviving the working-mommy trenches Balance is a Crock, Sleep is for the Weak is the indispensable "what to expect when you're expected back at work" guide for working mothers or any woman considering returning to work after baby. Watch a Video


Author : Jessica Shortall
Publisher : Abrams
Release : 2015-09-08
Page : 208
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN 13 : 1613128835
Description :


The practical, relatable, and humorous guide to surviving the difficult, awkward, and rewarding job of being a breastfeeding, working mom. Meet the frenemy of every working, breastfeeding mother: the breast pump. Many women are beyond “breast is best” and on to figuring out how to make milk while returning to demanding jobs. Work. Pump. Repeat. is the first book to give women what they need to know beyond the noise of the “Mommy Wars” and judgment on breastfeeding choices. Jessica Shortall shares the nitty-gritty basics of surviving the working world as a breastfeeding mom, offering a road map for negotiating the pumping schedule with colleagues, navigating business travel, and problem-solving when forced to pump in less-than-desirable locales. Drawing on the war stories, hacks, and humor of working moms, and on her own stories from her demanding job and travel in developing countries, she gives women moral support for dealing with the stress and guilt that come with juggling working and breastfeeding. As she tells the reader in her witty, inspiring manifesto, “Your worth as a mother is not measured in ounces.” 2015 Axiom Business Book Award Winner (Silver) in the category of Women/Minorities


Author : Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Release : 2006-04-01
Page : 240
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN 13 : 9781416940838
Description :


The moment the second line on the pee stick turns pink, women discover they've entered a world of parenting experts. Friends, family, colleagues, the UPS delivery guy -- suddenly everybody is a trove of advice, much of it contradictory and confusing. With dire warnings of what will happen if baby is fed on demand and even direr warnings of what will happen if he isn't, not to mention hordes of militant "lactivists," cosleeping advocates, and books on what to worry about next, modern parenthood can seem like a minefield. In busy Mom-friendly short essays, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay delivers the empathetic straight dirt on parenting, tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes ("Your baby doesn't need to be making friends at three months old -- you do! But not with people you'll meet at Mommy & Me") to attachment parenting ("If you're holding your baby 24/7, that's not a baby, that's a tumor"). Stefanie Wilder-Taylor combines practical tips with sidesplitting humor and refreshing honesty, assuring women that they can be good mothers and responsibly make their own choices. A witty and welcome antidote to trendy parenting texts and scarifying case studies, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay provides genuine support, encouragement, and indispensable common-sense advice.


Author : Mike Spohr
Heather Spohr
Publisher : Voyageur Press (MN)
Release : 2017-08
Page : 192
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN 13 : 0760352194
Description :


"The Toddler Survival Guide is a hilarious parody that will leave parents laughing even as it provides practical advise on how they can make it through toddlerhood intact"--


Author : Amy Alkon
Publisher : St. Martin's Griffin
Release : 2014-06-03
Page : 304
Category : Reference
ISBN 13 : 1250030722
Description :


"Miss Manners with Fangs." —LA Weekly We live in a world that's very different from the one in which Emily Post came of age. Many of us who are nice (but who also sometimes say "f*ck") are frequently at a loss for guidelines about how to be a good person who deals effectively with the increasing onslaught of rudeness we all encounter. To lead us out of the miasma of modern mannerlessness, science-based and bitingly funny syndicated advice columnist Amy Alkon rips the doily off the manners genre and gives us a new set of rules for our twenty-first century lives. With wit, style, and a dash of snark, Alkon explains that we now live in societies too big for our brains, lacking the constraints on bad behavior that we had in the small bands we evolved in. Alkon shows us how we can reimpose those constraints, how we can avoid being one of the rude, and how to stand up to those who are. Foregoing prissy advice on which utensil to use, Alkon answers the twenty-first century's most burning questions about manners, including: * Why do many people, especially those under forty, now find spontaneous phone calls rude? * What can you tape to your mailbox to stop dog walkers from letting their pooch violate your lawn? * How do you shut up the guy in the pharmacy line with his cellphone on speaker? * What small gift to your new neighbors might make them think twice about playing Metallica at 3 a.m.? Combining science with more than a touch of humor, Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck is destined to give good old Emily a shove off the etiquette shelf (if that's not too rude to say).


Author : Karen Alpert
Publisher : Harper Collins
Release : 2014-04-08
Page : 304
Category : Humor
ISBN 13 : 0062341618
Description :


Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.


Author : Jenny Schoberl
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Release : 2016-04-05
Page : 204
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN 13 : 1510704981
Description :


When do you know for sure that you’ve become a parent? For Jenny Schoberl, it wasn’t when a human fell out of her lady parts or the first time her baby said “Mama.” It was when she found herself, a grown woman, hiding in the bathroom to eat a candy bar, just so she didn’t have to share. Parenthood changes people’s lives in horrifying and inevitable ways. No matter how hard you resist, you soon find yourself being that parent far too often to deny it. It won’t be long before mom jeans and minivans are calling your name. Discussing bowel movements over dinner? Guilty. Peeing with an audience? Check. Grocery shopping alone? Sounds like a tropical vacation! Watching cartoons hours after the kids have gone to bed? Now your only hobby! What do you do when motherhood turns you into someone you hardly recognize? When you open your mouth and, holy hell, your mother comes out? Kids Are Turds proves that you don’t need to be Super-Mom to be a “good” mom (whatever that is), but you absolutely do need a sense of humor to get through the hard days. Either that, or you can give in, yank up your mom jeans, and rock a mile-long camel toe. So for the love of retinas everywhere, be strong!


Author : Nicole Knepper
Publisher : Penguin
Release : 2013-04-02
Page : 336
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN 13 : 110165094X
Description :


If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.


Author : Kimberly Harrington
Publisher : HarperCollins
Release : 2018-05-01
Page : 320
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN 13 : 006283875X
Description :


An emotionally honest, arresting, and funny collection of essays about motherhood and adulthood... “Being a mother is a gift.” Where’s my receipt? Welcome to essayist Kimberly Harrington’s poetic and funny world of motherhood, womanhood, and humanhood, not necessarily in that order. It’s a place of loud parenting, fierce loving, too much social media, and occasional inner monologues where timeless debates are resolved such as Pro/Con: Caving to PTO Bake Sale Pressure (“PRO: Skim the crappiest brownies for myself. CON: They’re really crappy.”) With accessibility and wit, she captures the emotions around parenthood in artful and earnest ways, highlighting this time in the middle—midlife, the middle years of childhood, how women are stuck in the middle of so much. It’s a place of elation, exhaustion, and time whipping past at warp speed. Finally, it’s a quiet space to consider the girl you were, the mother you are, and the woman you are always becoming.


Author : Dr. Sheryl G. Ziegler
Publisher : HarperCollins
Release : 2018-02-20
Page : 336
Category : Social Science
ISBN 13 : 0062683705
Description :


The ultimate must-read handbook for the modern mother: a practical, and positive tool to help free women from the debilitating notion of being the "perfect mom," filled with funny and all too relatable true-life stories and realistic suggestions to stop the burnout cycle, and protect our kids from the damage burnout can cause. Moms, do you feel tired? Overwhelmed? Have you continually put off the things you need to do for you? Do you feel like it’s all worth it because your kids are happy? Are you "over" being a mother? If you answered yes to these questions, you’re not alone. Parents today want to create the ideal childhood for their children. Women strive to be the picture-perfect Pinterest mother that looks amazing, hosts the best birthday parties in town, posts the most "liked" photos, and serves delicious, nutritious home-cooked meals in her neat, organized home after ferrying the kids to school and a host of extracurricular activities on time. This drive, while noble, can also be destructive, causing stress and anxiety that leads to "mommy burnout." Psychologist and family counselor Dr. Sheryl Ziegler is well-versed in the stress that moms face, and the burden of guilt they carry because they often feel like they aren’t doing enough for their kids’ happiness. A mother of three herself, Dr. Z—as she’s affectionately known by her many patients—recognizes and understands that modern moms are all too often plagued by exhaustion, failure, isolation, self-doubt, and a general lack of self-love, and their families are also feeling the effects, too. Over the last nineteen years working with families and children, Dr. Z has devised a prescriptive program for addressing "mommy burnout"—teaching moms that they can learn to re-energize themselves and still feel good about their families and their lives. In this warm and empathetic guide, she examines this modern epidemic among mothers who put their children’s happiness above their own, and offers empowering, proven solutions for alleviating this condition, saving marriages and keeping kids happy in the process.