Zoey Punches The Future In The Dick Download Ebook PDF Epub Online

Author : Jason Pargin
David Wong
Publisher : St. Martin's Griffin
Release : 2021-10-05
Page : 368
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 9781250833488
Description :


THE NATIONAL BESTSELLER New York Times bestselling author Jason Pargin's Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick is the latest—and arguably greatest—sci-fi thriller in the Zoey Ashe Series. In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the twenty-three year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness. On the eve of the world's most lavish and ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She is even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house. Speaking in an electronic voice, it publicly accuses Zoey of being its murderer. This is the kind of thing that almost never happened at her old job. The city was already a ticking time bomb of publicity-hungry vigilantes with superhuman enhancements and Zoey knows this turn of events is unlikely to improve the situation. Now, she and her team of high-tech tricksters have to solve this bizarre murder while simultaneously keeping Tabula Ra$a from descending into chaos. “Biting humor and blatant digs at modern society overlay a subtly brilliant and thoughtful plot” (Publishers Weekly) in John Dies at the End author Jason Pargin’s first installment of the Zoey Ashe Series, Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. Now, “one of today’s great satirists” (Nerdist) is back with Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, the second installment in a “Technicolor tomorrowland.” (Kirkus Reviews)


Author : David Wong
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Release : 2020-10-13
Page : 336
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 1250195810
Description :


THE NATIONAL BESTSELLER New York Times bestselling author David Wong's Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick is the latest—and arguably greatest—sci-fi thriller in the Zoey Ashe Series. In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the twenty-three year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness. On the eve of the world's most lavish and ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She is even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house. Speaking in an electronic voice, it publicly accuses Zoey of being its murderer. This is the kind of thing that almost never happened at her old job. The city was already a ticking time bomb of publicity-hungry vigilantes with superhuman enhancements and Zoey knows this turn of events is unlikely to improve the situation. Now, she and her team of high-tech tricksters have to solve this bizarre murder while simultaneously keeping Tabula Ra$a from descending into chaos. “Biting humor and blatant digs at modern society overlay a subtly brilliant and thoughtful plot” (Publishers Weekly) in John Dies at the End author David Wong’s first installment of the Zoey Ashe Series, Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. Now, “one of today’s great satirists” (Nerdist) is back with Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, the second installment in a “Technicolor tomorrowland.” (Kirkus Reviews)


Author : David Wong
Publisher : Titan Books
Release : 2020-10-17
Page : 400
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 178909075X
Description :


Zoey Ashe, suddenly in charge of the most decadent city in the world is just trying to cope with nightmarish superhuman villains, an all-seeing social network; mysterious, smooth-talking power players; and her very, very smelly cat. But when a disembowled corpse rampages through her house and accuses her of murder, Zoey has to work out what she owns, who works for her, and if she was responsible...


Author : David Wong
Publisher : St. Martin's Griffin
Release : 2021-10-05
Page : 368
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 9781250195807
Description :


THE NATIONAL BESTSELLER New York Times bestselling author David Wong's Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick is the latest—and arguably greatest—sci-fi thriller in the Zoey Ashe Series. In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the twenty-three year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness. On the eve of the world's most lavish and ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She is even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house. Speaking in an electronic voice, it publicly accuses Zoey of being its murderer. This is the kind of thing that almost never happened at her old job. The city was already a ticking time bomb of publicity-hungry vigilantes with superhuman enhancements and Zoey knows this turn of events is unlikely to improve the situation. Now, she and her team of high-tech tricksters have to solve this bizarre murder while simultaneously keeping Tabula Ra$a from descending into chaos. “Biting humor and blatant digs at modern society overlay a subtly brilliant and thoughtful plot” (Publishers Weekly) in John Dies at the End author David Wong’s first installment of the Zoey Ashe Series, Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. Now, “one of today’s great satirists” (Nerdist) is back with Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, the second installment in a “Technicolor tomorrowland.” (Kirkus Reviews)


Author : David Wong
Publisher : Macmillan
Release : 2015-10-06
Page : 384
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 1466835435
Description :


A Winner of the 2016 Alex Awards Nightmarish villains with superhuman enhancements. An all-seeing social network that tracks your every move. Mysterious, smooth-talking power players who lurk behind the scenes. A young woman from the trailer park. And her very smelly cat. Together, they will decide the future of mankind. Get ready for a world in which anyone can have the powers of a god or the fame of a pop star, in which human achievement soars to new heights while its depravity plunges to the blackest depths. A world in which at least one cat smells like a seafood shop's dumpster on a hot summer day. This is the world in which Zoey Ashe finds herself, navigating a futuristic city in which one can find elements of the fantastic, nightmarish and ridiculous on any street corner. Her only trusted advisor is the aforementioned cat, but even in the future, cats cannot give advice. At least not any that you'd want to follow. Will Zoey figure it all out in time? Or maybe the better question is, will you? After all, the future is coming sooner than you think.


Author : David Wong
Publisher : Macmillan
Release : 2009-09-29
Page : 384
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 142995678X
Description :


"David Wong has updated the Lovecraft tradition and infused it with humor that rather than lessening the horror, increases it dramatically. Every time I set the book down down, I was wary that something really was afoot, that there were creatures I couldn't see, and that because I suspected this, I was next. Engaging, comic, and terrifying." -- Joe Garden, Features Editor, The Onion "Wong is like a mash-up of Douglass Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement." --Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep "That rarest of things--a genuinely scary story."--David Wellington, author of Monster Island, Vampire Zero "JOHN DIES AT THE END has a cult following for a reason: it's horrific, thought-provoking, and hilarious all at once. This is one of the most entertaining and addictive novels I've ever read."--Jacob Kier, Publisher, Permuted Press STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.


Author : David Wong
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Release : 2017-10-03
Page : 384
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 1466835443
Description :


It's the story "They" don't want you to read. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. To quote the Bible, "Learning the truth can be like loosening a necktie, only to realize it was the only thing keeping your head attached." No, don't put the book back on the shelf -- it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from reading it. Yes, it works with e-books, too, I don't have time to explain how. While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they -- like you -- would be better off not knowing. Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome -- and, to be frank, stupid -- cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for. John Dies at the End's "smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next" (Publishers Weekly) and This Book is Full of Spiders was "unlike any other book of the genre" (Washington Post). Now, New York Times bestselling author David Wong is back with What the Hell Did I Just Read, the third installment of this black-humored thriller series.


Author : David Wong
Publisher : Macmillan
Release : 2012-10-02
Page : 416
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 1250017904
Description :


From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. WARNING: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You can't see it, because it decides what you see. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. So what happens when your family, friends and neighbors get mind-controlling skull spiders? We're all about to find out. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.


Author : Ryan North
Matthew Bennardo
Publisher : Machines of Death LLC
Release : 2010
Page : 452
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 0982167121
Description :


Presents fantasy stories written by Internet authors that explore how people, cultures, and societies are affected by the predictions of the Machine, an object that provides short yet vague phrases about how a person will die.


Author : Jeremy Robert Johnson
Publisher : Titan Books
Release : 2021-04-06
Page : 368
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 1789097266
Description :


Stranger Things meets X-Files by way of Stephen King in this visceral thrill-ride full of heart and horror. Stranger Things meets The X-Files in this heart-racing conspiracy thriller as a lonely young woman teams up with a group of fellow outcasts to survive the night in a town overcome by a science experiment gone wrong. Turner Falls is a small tourist town nestled in the hills of western Oregon, the kind of town you escape to for a vacation. When an inexplicable outbreak rapidly develops, this idyllic town becomes the epicenter of an epidemic of violence as the teenaged children of several executives from the local biotech firm become ill and aggressively murderous. Suddenly the town is on edge, and Lucy and her friends must do everything it takes just to fight through the night.


Author : Lamont Wood
Publisher : Red Wheel/Weiser
Release : 2011-08-15
Page : 224
Category : Body, Mind & Spirit
ISBN 13 : 1601636482
Description :


There are many examples of technology and beliefs appearing decades—even centuries before they supposedly originated. The Apollo Program was outlined a century before it happened. A painting from the Middle Ages shows a flying toy helicopter. We’ve found ancient Greek computers and heard stories of Roman death rays. The Pacific Front of World War II was described 16 years before the war started. The existence and documentation of these and many other events and anomalies impossibly ahead of their time are beyond dispute. Out of Place in Time and Space delves deeply into these impossibilities, showcasing: Objects, beliefs, and practices from the present that show up in the past, long before they were supposedly invented. Personal careers that appear to have been founded on knowlege of the future. Roman-era machines that were hundreds of years ahead of their time UFOs, never officially documented in any time period, yet still showing up in medieval paintings.


Author : Drew Magary
Publisher : Penguin
Release : 2016-08-02
Page : 288
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 0399563865
Description :


“The Hike just works. It’s like early, good Chuck Palahniuk. . . . Magary underhands a twist in at the end that hits you like a sharp jab at the bell. . . . It’s just that good.” —NPR.org “A page-turner. . . . Inventive, funny. . . . Quietly profound and touching.”—BoingBoing From the author of The Postmortal, a fantasy saga unlike any you’ve read before, weaving elements of folk tales and video games into a riveting, unforgettable adventure of what a man will endure to return to his family When Ben, a suburban family man, takes a business trip to rural Pennsylvania, he decides to spend the afternoon before his dinner meeting on a short hike. Once he sets out into the woods behind his hotel, he quickly comes to realize that the path he has chosen cannot be given up easily. With no choice but to move forward, Ben finds himself falling deeper and deeper into a world of man-eating giants, bizarre demons, and colossal insects. On a quest of epic, life-or-death proportions, Ben finds help comes in some of the most unexpected forms, including a profane crustacean and a variety of magical objects, tools, and potions. Desperate to return to his family, Ben is determined to track down the “Producer,” the creator of the world in which he is being held hostage and the only one who can free him from the path. At once bitingly funny and emotionally absorbing, Magary’s novel is a remarkably unique addition to the contemporary fantasy genre, one that draws as easily from the world of classic folk tales as it does from video games. In The Hike, Magary takes readers on a daring odyssey away from our day-to-day grind and transports them into an enthralling world propelled by heart, imagination, and survival.


Author : Steve Aylett
Publisher : Serif
Release : 2015-06-18
Page :
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 1909150541
Description :


'Savage talked about his life as a re-offender. How could someone be offended by the same thing twice? Was nothing learnt?' Beerlight, the city of all of our futures, is not a safe place. Weaponry, rather than fast cars or designer clothes, is the ultimate status symbol. The populace is dedicated to law-breaking, politically incorrect views and hurling abuse and hand grenades at each other. Combining elements of surrealism, film noir and punk rock ethos, Aylett creates a darkly comic landscape that's a cross between a Tarantino film and a Bosch painting, where murder is the ultimate expression of art. The cast of hoodlums includes burglar extraordinaire Billy Panacea, conman-cum-lawyer Harpoon Specter and other fun-loving felons who hang out at the Delayed Reaction Bar on Valentine Street reading the Parole Violators Bugle.


Author : Robert Brockway
Publisher : Three Rivers Press
Release : 2010-04-06
Page : 272
Category : Humor
ISBN 13 : 0307464350
Description :


Just when you thought you’d accepted your own mortality . . . Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody is bringing panic back. Twenty illustrated, hilariously fear-inducing essays reveal the chilling and very real experiments, dangerous emerging technologies, and terrifying natural disasters that soon could—or very nearly already did—bring about the end of humanity. In short, everything in here will kill you and everyone you love. At any moment. And nobody’s told you about it—until now: • Experiments in green energy like the HiPER, which uses massive lasers to create a tiny “contained” sun; it’s an idea that could save the world if it doesn’t consume us all in a fiery fusion reaction first. • Global disasters like the hypercane—a hurricane so large it could cover all of North America and shoot trailer parks into space! • Terrifying new developments in robotics like the EATR, which powers itself on meat—an invention in the running for “Worst Decision Made by Anybody.”


Author : Daniel H. Wilson
Publisher : Vintage
Release : 2013-02-05
Page : 273
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 030774549X
Description :


In a near-future world where technologically enhanced humans are governed by a strict set of conduct laws, twenty-nine-year-old Owen Gray joins the ranks of a persecuted underclass that is planning to change, or destroy, the world.


Author : Peter Clines
Publisher : Broadway Books
Release : 2016-03
Page : 384
Category : California
ISBN 13 : 0553447475
Description :


An old friend presents Mike Erikson with an irresistible mystery to solve: a team of DARPA scientists has invented a device that "folds" dimensions, promising to make mankind's dreams of teleportation a reality. Yet evidence is mounting that this miraculous machine isn't quite what it seems--and that its creators are harboring a dangerous secret.--


Author : Yahtzee Croshaw
Publisher : Dark Horse Comics
Release : 2018-05-29
Page : 416
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 1506706428
Description :


In a world full to bursting with would-be heroes, Jim couldn't be less interested in saving the day. His fireballs fizzle. He's awfully grumpy. Plus, he's been dead for about sixty years. When a renegade necromancer wrenches him from eternal slumber and into a world gone terribly, bizarrely wrong, all Jim wants is to find a way to die properly, once and for all. On his side, he's got a few shambling corpses, an inept thief, and a powerful death wish. But he's up against tough odds: angry mobs of adventurers, a body falling apart at the seams — and a team of programmers racing a deadline to hammer out the last few bugs in their AI. *Mogworld is the debut novel from video-game icon Yahtzee Croshaw (Zero Punctuation)! With an exclusive one-chapter preview of Yahtzee Croshaw's next novel, Jam—coming to bookstores in October 2012! *Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw's video review site, Zero Punctuation, receives over 2,500,000 unique hits a month, and has been licensed by G4 Television. *Yahtzee's blog receives about 150,000 hits per day. "The first legitimate breakout hit from the gaming community in recent memory." -Boing Boing


Author : C. J. Box
Publisher : Penguin
Release : 2014-07-15
Page : 288
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 0698170679
Description :


From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Joe Pickett series comes a thrilling collection of suspense stories about the Wyoming he knows so well—and the dark deeds and impulses that can be found there... C. J. Box has been hailed for his brilliant storytelling, with a style rich in character, suspense, and sense of place. That same brilliance is exemplified in the ten riveting stories—three of them never before published—that make up Shots Fired. In “One-Car Bridge,” one of four Joe Pickett stories, Pickett goes up against a just plain mean landowner, with disastrous results. In “Shots Fired,” his investigation into a radio call nearly ends up being the last thing he ever does. “Pirates of Yellowstone,” features two Eastern European tough guys who find out what it means to be strangers in a strange land, and in “Le Sauvage Noble,” the stranger is a Lakota in Paris who enjoys playing the noble savage for the French women—until he meets Sophie. Then he discovers what savage really means.... Shots Fired is proof once again why “Box is a force to be reckoned with” (The Providence Journal-Bulletin).


Author : David Wellington
Publisher : Crown
Release : 2008-10-14
Page : 336
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 0307450198
Description :


One man stood between them and us. U.S. Marshal Jameson Arkeley—the country’s foremost authority on vampires—taught police investigator and vampire fighter Laura Caxton everything she knows about monsters. After a bloody war visited upon Gettysburg by an army of vampires, Arkeley gave up his own life to save others. Except he didn’t exactly die . . . Arkeley accepted the curse and is now a vampire himself. What’s worse, he’s the savviest vampire ever—he knows all the tricks better than anyone. Caxton is now faced with the task of destroying him. But Arkeley knows all her tactics too; after all, he taught them to her. Caxton realizes she must finish Arkeley before he succeeds in his quest to exterminate his own family, one member at a time. But even more important, she has to prevent him from becoming a beast exponentially more dangerous—a Vampire Zero. The author of 13 Bullets and 99 Coffins, David Wellington takes the Laura Caxton series to a whole new level in this action-packed third volume.


Author : Mykle Hansen
Publisher :
Release : 2008
Page : 232
Category : Fiction
ISBN 13 : 9781933929781
Description :


The Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere is a collection of three short novels by a master of satire. Mykle Hansen's subversive tales capture the smugness of mainstream culture. He thrusts his characters into absurd and humorous situations that reveal the defects in the modern social fabric. With the wit of Christopher Moore, the inventiveness of Terry Gilliam and the rudeness of South Park, Hansen's surreal fiction is ridiculously fun to read. Three Bizarro Novels: MONSTER COCKS: A poignant tragedy of penis enlargement gone horribly wrong. JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF AGNES CUDDLEBOTTOM: A gripping history of the first Starbucks in the anus of an 80-year-old prostitute. CRAZY SHITTING PLANET: A touching parable of love, friendship, and feces.